divorce becomes her?

I don't know where to start. Life is one big experiment, isn't it? I go in phases of being really snide to my husband and just trying hard to be kind and love him or make him 'feel' so loved that he will feel like maybe he is doing the wrong thing by letting me go. I touch his cheek softly and hope that he realizes how very much he will miss my touch. I am under appreciated here, I know that. I deserve more of so many things in this not so haven-ish home. It is time to move on and in my romantic view of divorce I become I N D E P E N D E N T (do you know what that means). I see myself graduating from college, buying my own home and happily living with my happy children with no man to answer to and I am strong and wise and capable. There is not a codependent bone in my divorced body. But (isn't there always a but), sometimes I just feel afraid and tired. I do not want to be that woman I see so often in the divorced woman culture, that woman that defines herself by the man she can snag and is depressed because she is single. I want to be the woman that realizes that loving herself is the most important person to love and being alone is sometimes the only way to find that love of oneself. I want to be comfortable and proud of who I am. I want to be accomplished and satisfied with the life that I create for myself and my children. I want to feel that I contribute more than I take from this life. And I want to be confident and FEARLESS! I want to believe in myself so that I can believe in others. I want to experience that life is good . I want to really embrace the beauty around me and let it melt away all my bitterness and disappointment. I want true happiness. I want to believe!