today

I am melancholy. I spackled the dry wall a little with some missionaries. Weird in oh so many ways. Bought beer in my work shirt. Came home and drank warm beer. Read messages on facebook and emails from old, long lost friends. Felt lonely. Felt disconnected. Felt that my mask of stoicism is slipping or maybe just a bit skewed. I am getting closer to crying. Not ready to actually succumb to it. It is all creeping up into my vision and the blurred lines are becoming quite apparent and too real.