my thoughts these days, if you believe

I had a conversation with someone last night... supernatural occurrences in my life. I am not a believer either way, it takes too much commitment and I am not willing to commit. I shared an experience that goes something like this:

Once upon an eerie night, Amber was laying in her bed with restlessness roaming through her head. She heard footsteps coming down the hall. Kids? Husband? Sister? No one. Hmm.. odd, she thought to herself as the eeriness crept over her once again.
She went to the other end of the house where husband played on the computer and sister slept on the couch.
"Please come to bed," hangs in the air, ignored, as usual.
"please. things are just weird tonight."
of all people, he should understand what she means by weird. He does understand, but World of Warcraft tempts his attentions away from his real life, flesh and blood, responsibility laden wife.
"Your sister will go sleep with you if you are scared." one sentence, no eye contact. what horrors would occur if his eyes were removed from his precious, soul sucking, succubus of a computer, aptly named Lola the tramp.
"nevermind." the sister is asleep on the couch anyway.
Back to my room, alone in my bed, footsteps approaching again. I have a sense that something is standing at the head of my bed between me and the closet and I am feeling threatened, unsafe, afraid. I raise my arm to the square, I pray and relief washes over me as my heart quickens then slows to a normal beat.
Did I just do that? Cast out a spirit? (Oh I was quite the believer back then.) I felt safe once more. Well, until I heard my son crying anyway... two doors down. My two year old wakes from a sound sleep saying in his baby babble that something is in his room, only moments after the "casting out". I was frightened, pulled the crying baby into the bed with me and finally succumbed to sleep.

Two days later, I find out that my husband hit on my sister that night. Evil was afoot. In my religiously twisted mind of those days, evil could be invited into a home. I knew I had felt something. I knew the husband needed to be in my bed with me, yet he refused. And I also knew that the husband liked to dabble with the crossing of lines. What would his wife tolerate? What would she forgive? How much can I shatter her heart and remain the husband? What sweet, thoughtful, precious, tortuous games he played. I left him, packed the kids and told him he had a week to get out. I let fear rule me once again and I returned to him. Life was never the same.

Now here is the interesting point made in conversation last night, not a point that ever occurred to me, not a supernatural point, more the power of the mind. (Not that I need help disputing the supernatural, but here is added fuel to the fire.)

When all was said last night, my friend says,"Ahhhh......" Like he has discovered how to create gold. And mind you he came to this conclusion quickly too, a point of view that never even entered my mind just popped into his like a perfect little nugget of wisdom.

I will paraphrase (badly I am sure), "You know, it makes perfect sense... some underlying, ancient part of you knew that you were being threatened and it manifested itself, so much so that the child of the mother also experienced the manifestation." Wow. Really? Perhaps....

Do I believe it? No. Do I disbelieve? Not at all. But, it is definitely a new light, isn't it? Definitely a perspective worth exploring.