and so it goes....

what a night!

let me start with this..... he was coming to pick up the young, man-boy and for some reason parked at the bottom of the hill. WHAT THE HELL? i have papers for him to fill out and it is pouring rain, so i wrap the papers in my warm fuzzy robe and trek out into the drizzling night. he says the car has died... my car.... the one he would be using until he got a car of his own. shit. fuck. and damn too. no car for me i guess. he says it has been making scary sounds for a few weeks and he just never took it in. (SURPRISE) ignore it, it will go away... his motto for everything from cars to his wife of 16 years.... (that's another rant though) of course the car dies.

they try to push it in the rain. too dangerous. so i arrange a ride for him (i can't drive, been drinking wine with my sister) now this is what i don't understand. i arrange a ride for him, he would be home, without a car, but home where he could deal with whatever it is he needs to deal with. instead of taking the ride he asks if he can take my car. sure. whatever. he calls a "friend" of his to follow him back over to my house to bring my car back. now why on god's raining, muddy, floody georgia earth why would he do that? is he that illogical. had he taken the ride i arranged all that happened next could have been avoided because i would have never known a woman was going to his house....

instead, this is what happens... she follows him over, they get to my house around ten thirty, he hands me the keys and it occurs to me that it is late and there is a woman waiting for him and he says he will use her car the next day. so of course being me i say, you are not having sleepovers at your house in front of our boys (when i tried to hand him divorce papers earlier he refused to take them because he didn't want to deal with the divorce on top of everything, but he can have a sleepover! with our boys in the next room?!?) WE HAVE NOT EVEN FILED YET DOUCHE BAG AND YOU ARE BRINGING A WOMAN HOME TO MEET OUR KIDS AND SLEEPOVER! he says to me "can we talk about this when i am not standing in the rain?" i am floored. beyond floored and pissed and hurt that he would think that it is okay, they are teen age boys, they know what is going on when "daddy has a sleepover"! (i think i might throw up now)

so he texts me.... yes TEXTS me: amber you know it is only one person that i trust

fuck you randy! good for you that you are fucking some girl and good for you that you trust her, but be discreet about things please. you are influencing teen age boys thank you very much. then he goes on to tell me that he had no other place to be with her and he won't wait til it is his weekend without kids (every two weeks is too long) and they have met her before and she sneaks out after they go to school. WHAT THE HELL! and he trusts her... oh and OH OH OH he says he is not like me... he needs to feel something for someone before he can sleep with them. What the hell kind of jab is that? he has known her for a while and they have been dating exclusively for a while and she has helped him through a lot of crap. well okay then... that makes it okay for you to flaunt in front of everyone that you are sleeping with her! NICE! he says he needs me to trust that he thought it through. oh fuck you, with what did you think it through?

I resign. here is my resignation.... there is no way for me to control that household at all. none whatsoever. it is his household. his. but, oh god! are my boys okay with that? and will she be moving in soon?