winter

it is cold where I am, so cold and numbing and keeping me from feeling the spring, cleansing rain... the dead seasons linger here. i need a safe, warm place, a haven. my thoughts don't allow such a thing. i feel so small and fragile and vulnerable, playing dress-up, playing house, playing brave and strong and grown up. fear rules this place. rotting things surround me. and i am reveling in how this all became so dark. perhaps it is me.... always putting out the fire, the monster, the terror, the destroyer, the liar and manipulator. i am skirting around the bottom, being slowly sucked into a whirlpool into the depths of the pit. now there is only change...